SG1 Monty Python Day
by VioletVision
Summary: Jack is having a Monty Python day!


Jack the Monty Python

**A/N: **

I do not own these characters or personally know these people, but I respect them. This takes place after season 8, but before season 9 (maybe spoilers for the first show of season 9). I have taken out the crossover parts and make it just SG-1.

…………

**SGC:**

Jack desperately ran down the hall and decided to go find Daniel. When he got close to his office, Jack noticed too late that there were tables and boxed sitting out in the hall. "What the Hel!?"

Jack tripped over a box filled with books only to kick another one filled with carved figures. He reached out to grab the wall and his hand slipped, a large nail pressed up into his boot. He grit his teeth and raised his foot up and fell onto the floor. The nail barely pierced his foot. Jack stood up again and carefully shoved and kicked boxes out of the way.

Jack waved his hands as he entered Daniel's office. He glared at the younger man who was reading out of several books.

"What?" Daniel looked up from his journal. Daniel thought, _Jack is acting like Captain Jack_ _Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean again._

"For crying out loud, Daniel!" Jack glanced around the room. Jack thought, _He can't take the whole base with him!_ "The knights."

Daniel Jackson followed Jack's movements, "What? What at night? What are you talking about Jack?"

General Jack O'Neill's frustration reached new heights as the archeologist refused to acknowledge what was so obvious. "Shrubbery!"

Jack grabbed a flag out of a box that was on the floor. He furiously waved the red flag over head then swirled it with his teeth clenching. "Niiiiiii."

Daniel raised an eyebrow and wondered if Jack had the knowledge of the Ancients downloaded into his brain again. "Jaaaack, are you ok? Have you been watching Monty Python again?"

Daniel paused then spoke to Jack like he was talking to a child, "OK, what about the flag?"

Jack slammed the flag on the ground and started kicking it around. "He's a killer! You shall not pass. Bouncy ball!" Jack was blocking the door now.

Daniel stood up. "Ok, flag waving, flag on the ground? Are you trying to say how long is the flag of truce going to wave before someone attempts to ruined the new peace of the Goa'uld, Earth and the Jaffa now that the Replicators are gone? Ba'al…does it have something to do with Ba'al?"

Jack started shaking, picked the flag back up, and threw it like a spear at the map on Daniel's wall and kicked the box he got the flag from. "Coconuts those dam coconuts! Bouncy ball!" He fanned his hands over his ears.

Teal'c heard the commotion. He walked in just in time to see Jack throw the flag and start kicking boxes. "What is going on?"

Jack slumped over in defeat into a chair and leaned over the table. "What is your quest?"

Daniel adjusted his glasses, "I don't know. To get out of here."

Teal'c (a Jaffa) leaned over to look at O'Neill and answered in a firm and serious voice. "To free the Jaffa."

Jack raised his head with wild looking eyes and grabbed Teal'c's arm while sounding like an old craggy man. "What is your mission?" Jack pulled a jacket over his head like a hood.

"To kill the Goa'uld!" Teal'c leaned onto the table.

Daniel walked to the wall to call for a medical team. "Teal'c, you're not helping."

Jack pulled Teal'c closer and pointed a finger in his face. "What is your favorite color? Bouncy ball!"

Teal'c understood then that Jack must be ill. "Are you alright O'Neill? Has Ba'al done something to you?"

"Wrong answer!" Jack let go of Teal'c with a yell and danced around the room to get the flag back.

At that moment, a medical and security detail ran into the room and tackled Jack.

Daniel looked at one of the nurses. "Now what?"

Jack looked up at Daniel from the floor. "Another shrubbery!"

They carted Jack from the room and the nurse turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "I'm glad we found him. He is having a reaction to that orb SG-3 brought back. He was using it like a bowling ball in his office. We had him in the infirmary for an hour then he went missing. Maybe that is why he keeps saying Ba'al or ball. It might be Ba'al's ball."

………

**An Hour Later Still at the SGC:**

Sam read the file the commented, "I think that the particles in the orb reacted with the medallion that was sitting on the General's desk.

The doctor squinted, "that would confirm these tests I ran on his blood differentiation. It caused a spike in certain levels that are slowly returning to normal."

Daniel and Teal'c looked at each other.

Teal'c spoke up, "Where did they get the orb anyway?"

Sam smiled, "From your friend, Ba'al. SG-3 was on a scouting mission after the replicators were destroyed. They said Ba'al walked through the Stargate and handed it to them then beamed out." Sam paused to look at the orb, "He said to keep it safe. Wait, Daniel didn't you say that Ba'al's gifts usually explode?"

Daniel sputtered, "Yes, but this was not a gift really. You might want to look into that. So we take the orb away from Jack, and he will return to normal. Well, anything is better than this." He watched Sam and the doc nod their heads yes.

Sam continued, "Teal'c, a little help holding him here please. And by help hold him, I mean I need you to mainly do it."

Teal'c and Daniel attempted to pry the small bluish orb out of the general's hands as he lay in an infirmary bed.

Jack cringed and jutted his jaw, "NO! No, it's mine! My own, my precious…"

A/N: Update – Nov09 - I just could not help myself. This story was set up as a crossover, but I cut out the other parts to just make it SG-1.


End file.
